Before You Hire a Divorce Lawyer: 7 Critical Steps to Follow

Philosophically, divorce represents far more than the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks a profound personal and social transformation:

The End of a Social Contract: Divorce can be seen as the formal dissolution of a covenant between two individuals - a mutual agreement once built on shared expectations, promises, and a vision of life together, which has now become untenable or undesired by one or both parties.

An Existential Turning Point: From an existentialist viewpoint, divorce often symbolizes a reclaiming of individual autonomy. It's the decision to realign one's life with their authentic self, especially when their current relationship no longer reflects who they truly are or wish to become.

Grief and Rebirth: Divorce also embodies the end of one life narrative and the beginning of another. It is a time of reflection, grief, growth, and ultimately transformation. It forces us to confront ideas of impermanence, attachment, and the fragile nature of human connection.

No matter the reasons behind it, the difficult truth is that two people who once envisioned spending a lifetime together are now going their separate ways.

Key Steps to Take Before Filing for Divorce

The emotional and logistical weight of divorce can be overwhelming. Many people immediately begin searching for a “divorce attorney near me”—which is often the right move—but there are several personal and legal steps to consider before that.

Step 1: Protect Yourself, Your Children, and Your Finances

If your spouse has a temper or a history of violence, the safety of your children—and even pets—must be prioritized. Ensure they are placed in a safe environment, such as with a trusted family member or friend.

If you suspect a risk of domestic violence, consult with a family law attorney and consider filing for a domestic violence restraining order.

You should also inform your children's school, stating that only you are permitted to pick them up, and alert school personnel in case the other parent shows up unexpectedly.

In affluent areas like Calabasas or Malibu, before initiating divorce proceedings—or even informing your spouse—secure your assets. If you previously worked with a prenuptial agreement lawyer in Los Angeles, consult them again to review your financial position. If no prenup exists, ask about the possibility of a postnuptial agreement.

Contact your financial institutions, investment advisors, and credit card companies to restrict or freeze shared accounts if needed, especially in potentially volatile situations.

Step 2: Confirm California's Residency Requirements

 To file for divorce in California:

 You must have lived in the state for at least six months, and

 In the county where you intend to file for at least three months.

For example, if you recently moved from Ventura County to Los Angeles County less than three months ago, you’ll need to either wait or file in your previous county.

Step 3: Gather Essential Marriage and Financial Documents

“Before you hire a family law attorney, get your documents in order,” advises a Los Angeles-based divorce lawyer. For divorce proceedings in California, you’ll need detailed financial information for both spouses.

Documents to collect:

 -W-2s and income statements

 -Previous year's tax returns

 -Pay stubs

 -Investment and real estate account statements

 -Mortgage and loan documents

 -Credit card statements

 -Property deeds

 -Vehicle titles

 -Ongoing utility and household bills

 -Health and life insurance policies

 -Your spouse's Social Security number and driver's license number

Step 4: Will You Need Temporary Support?

During divorce proceedings, you may need financial assistance. California courts allow for temporary spousal support and child support, which require specific legal filings. A lawyer can help guide you through the paperwork.

Step 5: Hire a Family Law Attorney

There are multiple forms required to file for divorce in California, and they can vary depending on the county. If children are involved, additional custody and support forms are needed.

For this reason, hiring a local family law attorney is highly recommended. An experienced attorney can ensure everything is properly filed and represent your interests throughout the process.

Step 6: Notify Your Spouse

After consulting an attorney and potentially filing paperwork, you'll need to legally notify your spouse. This can be done through a process server or by signing a mutual acknowledgment of the divorce proceedings.

At this stage, decide what type of divorce process to pursue:

Litigated Divorce: If emotions are running high or major disputes are anticipated, traditional divorce litigation may be necessary. A judge will make final decisions regarding finances, custody, and support.

Collaborative or Mediated Divorce: If both parties are open to respectful negotiations, consider a collaborative or mediated divorce. This route often saves time, money, and emotional energy by involving a neutral third-party mediator instead of a judge.

Step 7: Navigating the Process While You Wait

 While your divorce is pending:

 -Create clear, temporary living arrangements.

 -Establish child visitation and co-parenting schedules.

 -Avoid entering a new romantic relationship, as it may affect emotional dynamics and spousal support considerations.

 -Consider therapy or family counseling to help you and your children process the changes.

 Above all, prioritize your children's emotional well-being, and try to end the relationship with dignity and respect whenever possible.

What Is a Family Law Attorney?

A family law attorney specializes in legal matters related to domestic and family relationships, including:

 -Divorce and legal separation

 -Child custody and visitation rights

 -Child and spousal support

 -Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements

 -Adoption

 -Paternity cases

 -Domestic violence and restraining orders

 -Guardianship of minors or dependent adults

Family law attorneys assist with legal advice, document preparation, negotiation, courtroom representation, and emotional support during challenging times. Their role is to provide both clarity and advocacy, helping clients make informed decisions during deeply personal transitions.

Divorce is never just about splitting up—it's a profound turning point in life. With the right preparation, professional guidance, and emotional support, you can navigate it thoughtfully and emerge ready to begin your next chapter.